Just a girl who walks dogs and hangs out in cemeteries. Stay feral, y'all.
Sunday morning, Melissa woke up with a plan. This was her first mistake. She was going to clean the house, do the laundry, organize the kitchen, water the plants and maybe even relax afterward. Adorable. She started by putting a load of laundry in the washing machine. While that was running, she decided to empty... Continue Reading →
It was supposed to be a nice walk. Those were the exact words I said as I reached for the leashes. “Come on, guys. We’re just going for a nice walk.” Looking back, I realize this was arrogant. You should never announce your plans in front of dogs. They hear optimism and immediately interpret it... Continue Reading →
There are certain moments in life when you realize you’ve made a mistake. For Julia, that moment came when she was standing in the frozen-food aisle holding a family-sized lasagna while an employee announced over the store’s speaker system, “Would the owner of a blue Honda Civic please return to your vehicle? Your car appears... Continue Reading →
I decided one day that I was going to be healthy. Not because I suddenly developed an overwhelming love for vegetables, but because my jeans had started holding meetings behind my back. Naturally, I ordered a salad. Now, if you've ever ordered a restaurant salad, you know they're basically vegetables covered in enough cheese, bacon,... Continue Reading →
The Cool Beans 