Just a girl who walks dogs and hangs out in cemeteries. Stay feral, y'all.
By Friday morning, Claire wasn't finishing the week strong. She was finishing it the way a shopping cart with one bad wheel finishes a trip across a parking lot - loudly, sideways, and with several strangers wondering what the hell was happening. Monday had started innocently enough. Her alarm went off at 6:00am. Claire turned... Continue Reading →
It started with one tiny raindrop. I was walking home carrying a coffee, wearing shoes that had absolutely no business being outdoors, when a single drop landed on my arm. “No big deal,” I thought. The sky heard me. Apparently, this was a challenge. Within approximately four seconds, the heavens opened with the enthusiasm of... Continue Reading →
I went to a petting zoo because apparently, at some point in my life, I decided I needed more wholesome experiences. There were fluffy sheep. Tiny ponies. Sleepy rabbits. Children giggling while feeding adorable little animals from their hands. t was delightful. Then I met Kevin. I don't actually know if the goat's name was... Continue Reading →
It was supposed to be a nice walk. Those were the exact words I said as I reached for the leashes. “Come on, guys. We’re just going for a nice walk.” Looking back, I realize this was arrogant. You should never announce your plans in front of dogs. They hear optimism and immediately interpret it... Continue Reading →
I decided one day that I was going to be healthy. Not because I suddenly developed an overwhelming love for vegetables, but because my jeans had started holding meetings behind my back. Naturally, I ordered a salad. Now, if you've ever ordered a restaurant salad, you know they're basically vegetables covered in enough cheese, bacon,... Continue Reading →
Well...another week is in the poop bags! It wasn't exactly exciting, but somehow it still managed to be exhausting. You know those weeks where absolutely nothing major happens, yet by Friday you're ready to crawl into bed and pretend adulthood is optional? Yeah...one of those. Work was actually pretty quiet this week. A good chunk... Continue Reading →
Dear Tide, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I have used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago I spilled... Continue Reading →
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal...The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now... the wax. Read on.......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next... Continue Reading →
