Just a girl who walks dogs and hangs out in cemeteries. Stay feral, y'all.
There are people who begin their mornings with meditation. They wake gently to the sound of birds, stretch their arms toward the heavens, drink lemon water, write three pages in a gratitude journal, and thoughtfully set an intention for the day. I sit in my car and talk to the internet while dogs breathe directly... Continue Reading →
I had one simple errand. That sentence should have been my first warning. All I needed to do was drive downtown, pick up a package, and come home. According to Google Maps, the entire trip would take twenty-seven minutes. According to reality, I apparently needed provisions, emergency flares, a lawyer, and the emotional resilience of... Continue Reading →
It started, as most bad decisions do, with confidence. “It’s a corn maze,” I said. “How hard can it be?” Those words should have immediately summoned a park employee to confiscate my admission bracelet and escort me back to the parking lot. Instead, I marched into the maze with three friends, absolutely convinced that generations... Continue Reading →
I knew the day was going to be garbage when I woke up before my alarm. Not because I was refreshed. Not because my body had miraculously decided that 6:17am was a beautiful time to embrace life. No. I woke up because something cold and wet touched my foot. There are very few things you... Continue Reading →
I decided to start a garden because apparently I looked at my already chaotic life and thought, You know what this needs? Several dozen tiny green dependents with very specific emotional needs. People online made gardening look peaceful. There were videos of women wandering barefoot through immaculate gardens at sunrise, gently gathering tomatoes into wicker... Continue Reading →
Saturday morning arrived full of possibility. I knew this because I had made a list. Not just any list. A motivational list. Laundry. Vacuum. Clean bathroom. Grocery shopping. Organize closet. Answer emails. Change sheets. Meal prep. I looked at it. The list looked back. We immediately disliked each other. “Okay,” I said. “I just need... Continue Reading →
By Friday morning, Claire wasn't finishing the week strong. She was finishing it the way a shopping cart with one bad wheel finishes a trip across a parking lot - loudly, sideways, and with several strangers wondering what the hell was happening. Monday had started innocently enough. Her alarm went off at 6:00am. Claire turned... Continue Reading →
There are mornings when the universe gently tests you. And then there are mornings when the universe wakes up, cracks its knuckles and says, “You know what would be hilarious?” For Rachel, that morning began at 7:14am, when she woke up feeling suspiciously refreshed. This should have concerned her immediately. Rachel was not a naturally... Continue Reading →
Julie had planned everything. And when she said everything, she meant everything. The venue was booked. The tables were arranged. Decorations were ready. Food was scheduled. Music was organized. There were lists, backup lists, and one particularly impressive spreadsheet that Julie was considering framing after the event. Wednesday morning, she looked at everything she'd prepared... Continue Reading →
It was supposed to be a civilized dinner party. That was mistake number one. There were six of us, a table full of food, three dogs strategically positioned beneath the chairs, and one cat pretending she was far too sophisticated to participate in anything so common as begging. She sat on the windowsill with her... Continue Reading →
