This Week in Chaos: Dogs, Weather, Dog Puke & a New Haircut

Another week has come and gone, and somehow we survived it. Honestly, I feel like that deserves recognition.

There were dogs. There was ridiculous weather. There was a new haircut. There was a long weekend approaching. And, because apparently the universe decided this week’s story needed a little extra something…

There was an extreme amount of dog puke.

So grab a coffee, get comfortable, and welcome to another week of ordinary life behaving in a completely unreasonable manner.

The Glamorous Life of a Dog Walker

People hear that you walk dogs and immediately think you have the greatest job in the world. And they’re not entirely wrong. I get to spend my days with dogs. There are wagging tails, happy faces, excited greetings, walks outside and plenty of opportunities to hang out with creatures who are generally far more pleasant company than people.

Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?

Well…

Nobody mentions the puke or the poop in the brochure.

This week, one of my canine clients – one half of the Doodle Horses – decided that whatever had previously entered their stomach no longer needed to remain there. And suddenly we had dog puke. Everywhere. And, a LOT of it! Big dogs = BIG poop & BIG puke!

Because apparently simply walking, feeding, supervising and keeping everyone safe wasn’t enough excitement for one day. Working with animals has a wonderful way of keeping you humble. One minute you’re looking at an adorable dog thinking:

I can’t believe I actually get paid to do this.

Five minutes later you’re staring at something horrifying on the floor thinking:

Oh. Right. THIS is also what I get paid to do.

Naturally, the dog is generally considerably less concerned about the situation than the human dealing with the aftermath. In fact, there’s a very good chance the dog is already wondering when the next meal will be served.

That’s the reality of working with dogs.

There are beautiful walks, happy faces, wagging tails and lots of laughs.

There are also bodily fluids.

So many bodily fluids.

Still, I’ll take a little dog-related chaos over most human-related chaos any day. At least the dogs have the decency to be cute afterward.

Mother Nature Has Apparently Lost the Plot

Then there was the weather.

Oh, the weather.

Calling it “unpredictable” seems far too polite.

Mother Nature apparently woke up every morning this week, spun a giant wheel and said:

“What can I do to annoy everyone today?”

When your job involves walking dogs, weather isn’t something you simply observe through the window while drinking coffee. You actually have to go outside in it.

There are dogs waiting.

So begins the daily ritual:

Check the forecast.

Check the radar.

Look outside.

Check the forecast again because you don’t believe it.

Look at the sky suspiciously.

Decide what to wear.

Change your mind.

Leave the house.

Discover that apparently none of the information you were given was relevant anyway.

Too hot? Adjust the walks.

Rain? Adjust the walks.

Humidity so thick you could practically chew it? Adjust the walks.

Weather suddenly decides to do something completely different? Of course it does.

Dog walking during ridiculous summer weather becomes an ongoing negotiation between keeping the dogs comfortable, keeping yourself functional, and trying not to melt into the ground.

And the dogs all have their own opinions about it. Some are ready to go regardless.

Rain? Let’s go!

Heat? Let’s go!

Wind? Let’s go!

Possible apocalypse? GET THE LEASH!

Others take one look outside and appear to be reconsidering the entire arrangement. Honestly, I can’t blame them.

There are days when I look outside and think:

“Absofuckinglutely not.”

Unfortunately, unlike the dogs, I’m the one holding the leash.

And Then I Got a Haircut

Somewhere among the weather drama, dog walking and surprise bodily fluids, I actually managed to do something for myself.

I got a new haircut.

Sometimes you reach that point where you look in the mirror and think:

Yep. Something needs to happen here.

Will getting your hair cut solve all of life’s problems?

No.

Will it convince Mother Nature to calm the hell down?

No.

Will it prevent one of your dog-walking clients from unexpectedly throwing up?

Apparently not.

But there is something wonderfully satisfying about walking into a salon looking one way and walking out feeling refreshed.

It’s a tiny reset.

And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

Of course, the true test of any haircut comes the following morning…especially to those of us with naturally curly hair!

At the salon:

“Oh my God! I LOVE IT!”

The next morning, standing in front of your bathroom mirror holding a hairbrush:

“What kind of witchcraft did she use?”

Because hairstylists apparently possess ancient styling knowledge that ordinary humans aren’t permitted to learn.

Still…

New hair.

New attitude.

Same chaos.

I’ll take it.

Philosophical Discussions From the Front Seat

A good portion of this week’s updates came from one of the great modern centres of deep philosophical thought: the front seat of my car.

Forget mountaintops.

Forget monasteries.

Forget sitting beneath an ancient tree contemplating the mysteries of existence.

Apparently enlightenment now happens while sitting in a parked vehicle between dog-walking appointments.And honestly? I’m okay with that. There’s something wonderfully unpolished about those moments. No studio. No elaborate setup. No carefully written script. Just turn on the camera and talk about whatever ridiculous thing happened that day.

Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes you begin telling one story and somehow end up three stories away from where you started.

That’s life.

Real life doesn’t have an editor standing nearby saying: “Perhaps we should tighten up the narrative.”

Real life says: “Oh, you think THAT was weird? Hang on.”

And Somehow We’ve Reached the Long Weekend

After all of that, we’re heading into a long weekend. Long weekends always sound wonderfully relaxing in theory.

An extra day! Freedom! Relaxation! Three glorious days to recharge!

Then adulthood gets involved. Suddenly there are errands. Laundry. Things that need to be cleaned. Things you’ve been putting off. Things you completely forgot existed until approximately five minutes ago. And somewhere around Sunday afternoon, nobody knows what day it is anymore. Saturday feels like Sunday. Sunday feels like Saturday. Monday feels slightly illegal. Then Tuesday arrives and everyone is confused.

Still, there’s something wonderful about having that extra little pocket of time. Maybe we’ll get things accomplished. Maybe we’ll go somewhere. Maybe we’ll relax. Or maybe we’ll sit around doing absolutely nothing and declare that surviving the previous week was productive enough.

I’m personally willing to consider that a legitimate option.

So, What Did We Learn This Week?

Apparently the recipe for this particular week was:

Dog-walking clients + ridiculous weather + dog puke + a new haircut + everyday chaos = content.

And maybe that’s really the point.

Life doesn’t always need a huge adventure to be worth talking about.

Sometimes the story is trying to get through your dog-walking schedule while Mother Nature actively works against you.

Sometimes it’s cleaning up dog puke. Sometimes it’s getting your hair cut and enjoying that little boost you get from doing something nice for yourself. Sometimes it’s sitting in your vehicle afterward, turning on the camera and thinking:

You people aren’t going to believe this shit.

These are the moments that make up our lives. They’re ordinary. They’re messy. They’re frustrating. They’re frequently hilarious. And sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh at them.

The dogs don’t care whether the day went according to plan. They don’t even care about the schedule you have them on. Mother Nature definitely doesn’t care. Maybe we don’t always need to care quite so much either.

Sometimes you adjust the plan. Sometimes you clean up the mess. Sometimes you swear at the weather. Sometimes you get a new haircut.

And sometimes you simply look around at the absurdity of everything happening and think: Of course this is happening to me.

Then you keep going. So here’s to another week of unpredictable weather, adorable dog-walking clients, surprise puke, front-seat philosophy, questionable levels of productivity and finding something funny in the middle of ordinary life.

We survived.

The dogs were walked.

Poop was picked up.

The puke was dealt with.

The weather failed to kill us…repeatedly.

And the hair looks fabulous.

I’d call that a successful week. Now bring on the long weekend.

What could possibly go wrong?

Actually…Don’t answer that.

The universe might hear you. 😂🐕🌦️💇‍♀️💜

Until next weekm – may the weather cooperate, your dogs keep their breakfast down, and your hair behave itself. If not, at least it’ll give you something to write about. 😂🐾🌦️💇‍♀️