Six Hours, Eight Hours, and One Judgmental Cow

The plan was simple. Three friends, one car, a six-hour drive, and a relaxing weekend at a little cabin by the lake.

“We leave at seven,” Rachel announced the night before. “No delays. No unnecessary stops. We are going to be organized adults.”

They left at 9:17.

The first delay happened because Sophia couldn’t find her sunglasses. After twenty minutes of searching, accusing everyone of moving them, and declaring that she “literally could not drive toward the sun without them,” Rachel pointed silently at Sophia’s head.

The sunglasses were there.

Nobody mentioned it again. Mostly because they wanted to live.

Forty-five minutes into the trip, Jenna announced that she needed coffee.

“You had coffee before we left,” Rachel said.

“That was home coffee. I need road-trip coffee.”

Apparently these were completely different beverages.

They pulled into a drive-thru, ordered three coffees, and continued down the highway feeling considerably more prepared for adventure. Seven minutes later, Sophia hit a pothole.

Jenna’s coffee launched out of the cup holder, performed what could only be described as a graceful aerial maneuver, and landed upside down in her lap.

There was screaming. There was swerving. There was a brief moment when everyone thought they were going to die.

Then Jenna yelled, “MY PANTS ARE DRINKING MY COFFEE!”

They pulled over. Jenna changed behind an open car door while Rachel stood guard and Sophia attempted to clean the passenger seat with three napkins and a receipt.

This did not work.

Back on the road, they decided to put Rachel in charge of navigation.

This was their second major mistake.

“Turn right in 500 metres,” Rachel said confidently.

Sophia turned.

Ten minutes later, the pavement disappeared. Five minutes after that, they passed a cow.

Not a farm.

Just a cow.

The cow watched them drive by with the unmistakable expression of someone who knew they had made poor choices.

“Are you sure this is right?” Jenna asked.

Rachel stared at her phone.

“Yes.”

A pause.

“No.”

Another pause.

“We’re going the opposite direction.”

Sophia pulled over.

Nobody spoke.

The cow was somehow still visible in the distance.

It seemed smug.

After turning around, they finally reached a gas station, where Sophia went inside for snacks while Rachel filled the tank. Sophia returned carrying enough food to survive a minor apocalypse.

“Why did you buy six bags of chips?”

“They were on sale.”

“You bought beef jerky.”

“Yes.”

“You’re vegetarian.”

Sophia stared at the package.

“Oh.”

The beef jerky joined the growing collection of mistakes in the back seat.

Two hours later, Jenna noticed something concerning.

“Does anyone else hear that?”

Immediately, everyone stopped talking.

There was a strange rhythmic thumping coming from somewhere behind them.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

“Flat tire,” Rachel whispered.

“Don’t say that.”

Thump.

Thump.

Sophia pulled onto the shoulder. The three of them climbed out and slowly walked around the car like mechanics who had received all their training from cartoons.

The tires looked fine. The engine looked fine. Nothing appeared to be falling off.

Then Rachel opened the trunk.

A watermelon rolled forward and hit the side.

Thump.

They had completely forgotten they’d bought it for the cabin.

Jenna stared at it.

“We just pulled over because we thought the watermelon was a mechanical problem.”

Nobody had a response to that.

They continued.

Eventually, after eight hours of what was supposed to be a six-hour drive, they reached the lake.

There was cheering. There was celebration. There were declarations that they had survived.

Sophia parked in front of the cabin. Rachel stretched. Jenna gathered the snacks.

Then Sophia froze.

“Guys?”

Nobody liked the tone of her voice.

“What?”

“The cabin key.”

Silence.

“Where is it?”

Sophia stared straight ahead.

“On my kitchen counter.”

Rachel slowly closed her eyes.

Jenna looked toward the heavens.

Somewhere, possibly hundreds of kilometres away, the cow probably felt vindicated.

Fortunately, the cabin owner lived nearby and arrived twenty minutes later with a spare key.

“You girls had quite the trip?” he asked cheerfully.

“You have no idea,” Rachel said.

They finally carried everything inside, changed into comfortable clothes, opened the chips, and collapsed onto the couch.

Jenna raised her drink. “To friendship.”

Rachel raised hers. “To surviving.”

Sophia lifted the forgotten watermelon. “To never planning anything again.”

And that was when they discovered they’d left the bottle opener at home.

Nobody said a word.

They simply stared at one another.

Then Jenna reached into her bag.

“I have one.”

The room erupted in cheers.

It was the first thing that had gone right all day.

Unfortunately, five minutes later, they realized they’d brought wine with screw caps. 😂

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