There are weeks when you wake up refreshed, organized and ready to embrace all the beautiful possibilities life has to offer.
And then there are weeks when you sit in your car talking to your phone while several dogs breathe directly onto the back of your head and you realize this is apparently your life now.
Welcome to my week.
Sunday started with me being very excited about one important thing: I was getting paid. There are few phrases in the English language more beautiful than “getting paid.” Maybe “your appointment has been cancelled but you won’t be charged” or “we accidentally gave you extra fries,” but getting paid is definitely up there.
Physically, however, I was apparently less enthusiastic about participating in the day. My body had shown up, but mentally I was somewhere else entirely, probably lying under a blanket refusing all incoming calls and texts.
The weather, at least, had finally decided to stop behaving like we lived three blocks from the surface of the sun. It was cooler, which I was incredibly thankful for because walking dogs when the humidity is approximately soup is not really walking. It’s more like slowly marinating outdoors while holding leashes.
The dogs were thrilled, of course. Dogs do not care that you are sweaty, tired or reconsidering every decision that brought you to this exact moment. Dogs wake up every morning thinking, OH MY GOD, WE’RE DOING THIS AGAIN?! BEST DAY EVER!
I admire that level of enthusiasm, but I do not possess it.
Monday arrived, because apparently the previous week had failed to kill me.
The weather remained fantastic, which immediately made me suspicious. Southern Ontario does not simply give you pleasant weather without eventually demanding payment. There is always an invoice coming.
Still, it was cooler, the dogs were happy, and I had my theoretical coffee.
I say “theoretical coffee” because sometimes coffee stops being a beverage and becomes an emotional support system. At this point I don’t even need to drink it. I just need to know it’s nearby. It’s basically my security blanket, except you can put cream in it – I don’t because I like my coffee to resemble my soul. BLACK!
Monday also included talk of a money-attraction spell, because if there is one thing adulthood has taught me, it is that I am willing to explore all available options.
Budgeting? Sure.
Working? Obviously.
Saving? Fine.
Standing under the moon whispering, “Money, perhaps you could locate me?”
Absolutely.
I’m not closing any doors.
Then Tuesday – or possibly Wednesday, because time loses all meaning when your week is measured in dog walks – arrived with another car update. By this point there was usually at least one furry face hovering behind me like an unpaid producer making sure I stayed on topic.
There is something particularly humbling about trying to have a serious conversation while a dog is staring over your shoulder.
You can be discussing the meaning of life and behind you is a face that says, I licked a sidewalk ten minutes ago.
One of the recurring themes of the week was gratitude. I was thankful for the cooler weather. Thankful for work. Thankful for coffee. Thankful for the people watching the videos. Thankful for everyone liking, sharing, commenting and subscribing!
And I genuinely am.
But there is only so much heartfelt sincerity I can tolerate before I need to ruin the moment with sarcasm, so please understand that every beautiful expression of gratitude is happening while my car looks like a mobile dog daycare and I’m probably covered in fur, slobber and some things I don’t want to think about.
By Wednesday, survival had become the primary objective.
I had my hat.
I had sunglasses sitting on top of my hat because apparently one pair of eyewear wasn’t enough equipment for this expedition.
I had coffee.
And I had a dog behind me staring into the camera like he had concerns about my management style.
But we were going to survive.
Probably.
The weather remained cooler, which continued to be a major victory. I realize this sounds like an incredibly boring thing to be excited about, but spend several days walking dogs while the air itself feels damp and angry and suddenly a cool breeze becomes a religious experience.
You feel that first hint of autumn and think, Oh thank God. I may stop sweating in places I didn’t know possessed sweat glands.
Then Thursday rolled around and brought rain into the conversation.
Normally rain would be annoying.
But rain also meant the possibility of less muggy weather.
So now I was rooting for rain.
This is what adulthood does to you. When you’re a kid, you want sunshine because you want to go outside and play. When you’re an adult who works outdoors, you find yourself staring at storm clouds like a farmer in 1847 whispering, Come on, baby. Give me something.
Thursday also involved me being ridiculously excited about sleeping.
Not going somewhere.
Not doing something.
Not having an adventure.
Sleeping.
That was the dream.
There comes a point in adulthood when cancelled plans become more exciting than actual plans. Someone says, “We should get together Saturday!”
And your mouth says, “That sounds great!”
But deep inside your soul, a tiny voice whispers, Please cancel. Please cancel. Please cancel.
Unfortunately, the week wasn’t entirely dogs, coffee and me celebrating weather that wasn’t actively trying to steam-cook me.
I’d also been dealing with the heavier side of what I do online.
When you spend a lot of time sharing stories about missing people, murdered people and families who are still looking for answers, you can’t always simply shut that off when you close the computer. You read the stories. You look at the photographs. You learn about the families. You absorb some of it whether you intend to or not.
And eventually your brain says, Ma’am, we are full.
So I decided I needed a few days away from that kind of content.
Not forever.
Just long enough to remind myself that the entire world isn’t composed exclusively of tragedy, unanswered questions and people doing absolutely horrifying things to one another.
Because there is significantly more to life than the sad and angry stuff.
There are dogs.
There is coffee.
There are cool mornings.
There are people who make you laugh.
There are tiny moments that don’t make the news because nobody disappeared, nobody committed a crime and nothing terrible happened.
Sometimes nothing happening is actually pretty damn wonderful.
Of course, while I was trying to take a little mental break, social media apparently decided it would also help by suppressing my content.
Thank you, algorithm.
Very thoughtful.
Nothing says “relax and recharge” quite like wondering whether the giant invisible computer overlord has decided your followers no longer need to see the things they specifically followed you to see.
Apparently the algorithm and I are currently going through something.
About a month ago, I shared a post from 10 years ago that the book of faces decided it didn’t like anymore. Now, I’m in jail.
Maybe Mark Zuckerberg personally woke up and said, “You know who has had it too easy lately?”
Whatever the reason, reach was doing whatever reach does when social media decides to hide your posts in a digital basement.
So if you follow my stuff and haven’t been seeing it lately, apparently you may have to actively seek me out.
Imagine that.
We have reached the point where you can deliberately follow someone and the platform responds, Excellent. We will make sure you never hear from them again. This is why I use the @followers option. Because I WANT you to see my stuff.
Technology is incredible.
And then, somehow, Friday arrived.
Beautiful, glorious Friday.
The weather was cooler.
The week was almost over.
The dogs were still dogs.
Coffee remained one of the foundational pillars holding civilization together.
And I was ready for the weekend.
Not because I had enormous exciting plans.
Because I needed to decompress.
I needed a little less sadness, a little less anger and considerably fewer reasons to stare at my computer muttering, “What the actual hell is wrong with people?” (I do enough of that while driving in this city)
Sometimes you need to step away from the heavy stuff and deliberately look for the good stuff instead.
Even if the good stuff is walking unruly beasts or simply sitting in your car with dogs piled into the back seat while you drink coffee and celebrate the fact that the temperature outside is no longer trying to kill you.
And really, that pretty much sums up the week.
I worked.
I walked dogs.
I drank coffee.
I investigated mystery objects.
I celebrated cooler temperatures with an enthusiasm normally reserved for lottery winners.
I contemplated money-attraction magic because inflation has made witches of us all.
I talked to my phone while dogs supervised.
I became emotionally invested in humidity levels.
I not-so-briefly have entered into an adversarial relationship with a social-media algorithm.
And somewhere in between all of that, I remembered something important:
Sometimes you need a couple of days where you don’t solve anything.
You don’t research anything.
You don’t fix anything.
You don’t save the world.
You just exist.
Preferably somewhere cool.
With coffee.
And dogs.
Lots and lots of dogs.
Because apparently that’s my version of inner peace now. 😆
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